Tag: worry

Fault. 

It was all my fault.  I unbuckled him and then like a fool, I turned my back and was distracted.  He fell out of my SUV. He landed and I freaked out.  He was sobbing.  I checked him all over and he seemed to be fine. But he was not. It was all my fault.  I ignored his pain. I had checked over and over but he seemed okay.  I was wrong. He broke his arm. It was all my fault for not being careful.  They hate me now.  I failed my job.  I did not keep him safe.  I did not make sure he was okay.  I hurt him.  I neglected his needs. I ignored the signs.  I hurt him. I should have stayed by his side and been the one sitting next to his father waiting for the results.  It is not okay. How will they ever trust me again. I am supposed to be a stress relief instead.  Every time they think of their child with me, they will worry. I failed. It is my fault. I do not deserve to feel good.  It is not okay.