Tag: pain

Fault. 

It was all my fault.  I unbuckled him and then like a fool, I turned my back and was distracted.  He fell out of my SUV. He landed and I freaked out.  He was sobbing.  I checked him all over and he seemed to be fine. But he was not. It was all my fault.  I ignored his pain. I had checked over and over but he seemed okay.  I was wrong. He broke his arm. It was all my fault for not being careful.  They hate me now.  I failed my job.  I did not keep him safe.  I did not make sure he was okay.  I hurt him.  I neglected his needs. I ignored the signs.  I hurt him. I should have stayed by his side and been the one sitting next to his father waiting for the results.  It is not okay. How will they ever trust me again. I am supposed to be a stress relief instead.  Every time they think of their child with me, they will worry. I failed. It is my fault. I do not deserve to feel good.  It is not okay. 

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You.

You take advantage of me. You call me,  regardless of time or the fact that I work and need rest. You treat me like a safety net. You always know I will be there to catch you. You use me. You push me away. You run back and forth whenever you feel the need for someone honest. You know you make bad decisions. You know I still care about you even after those decisions are made. You have a friend in  me.

I answer. Regardless of the hour. I am there for you. I care for you. I let you throw me away over and over. I never complain. I want what’s best for you. I am your friend. I let you hurt me as much as you want.