Tag: fate

Deserve. 

I hate the word deserve when used in a certain context.  “You deserve better” “you will get what you deserve” . None of that is true.

I hate to say it but it’s true. It is rare for someone to truly get what they deserve. 

“The rich get richer and the poor keep dying.”

We deserve nothing. We are destroying our planet because of carelessness and disregard. We feel entitled to take until there is nothing left to give. “Let you, who is without sin, cast the first stone.”  Despite the fact that in our own way  we all do horrible things, some are more blessed than others. I wonder why that is. “Life isn’t fair” they always say but why?  Why isn’t it fair?  “They will get what’s coming to them” No. No they won’t. Not always. But why not?  I do not know. How can we have hope if there is no real fairness system in place.  The Bible says that if we all got what we deserved, we would be in Hell because none of us are without sin. Also it says that every sin has equal value, from murder to bullying, to God there is no difference. Maybe that’s why life isn’t fair. We are all equal. Every choice we make creates a 50/50 chance for good or bad consequence but a bad choice doesn’t always equal a bad consequence . A metaphorical coin toss happens at every crossroad. I still believe we should be kind and do our best but I do not believe there is any point in being so upset when we get the short end of the stick.  We can’t control anything but ourselves. The answer to why me?  Because why not you?  You just happen to be the one this time, but you are not the only one. 

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Missing. 

I miss the way he used to talk. Kind and funny and full of life.  Singing sweetly by my side. Strumming music for Christ.  We led the worship for the kids. We were the perfect duet.  He used to act like he would sing just to stop at the spur of the moment so only my voice would be heard.  He drove me home only once,  I wished it would have lasted forever. He says he wants me but can’t decide.  He’s breaking my heart when he says he does not know.  How can you not believe that we are meant to be?  It isn’t just love.  I promise we do get along.  Same goals,  same life we want to live.  We can make it work. We are meant to be.  I just hope you start to believe it too.