My personal struggle at the moment deals with love. My heart aches for a companion. I long for love and commitment but I have had no luck. I have been off dating sites and things like that for quite a long time now and because of that I do not seem to be meeting anyone new. There’s always that quick smile to a stranger. A fleeting connection but never anything else. It’s heartbreaking. I want to meet someone organically and not controlled by location or interest like an app. I want that movie moment where you meet a stranger and it changes the rest of your life. I am extremely frustrated and have been feeling so hopeless. Despite the fact that I feel this way, I am still not appreciating the very “helpful” advice that I have received.
My list of “helpful” advice that isn’t helpful.
- “You are still young.. A baby..”
- “You have plenty of time”
- “Enjoy yourself, you shouldn’t think about settling down at this age “
- “If you stop looking, you will find someone”
- “One day a guy will start going to church and he will be the one for you”
- “Go out more or you will never meet anyone”
- “Don’t be honest with the guys about what you want, it scares them away”
- “If you would change the way you act and what you say then they wouldn’t leave”
- “Trust me, you will regret getting married so young”
- “You should focus on school”
- “Well I’m ___ years old and I haven’t met anyone “
Why do people give advice like that? Do feelings not matter to anyone? It’s not about my age, or what I’m going to do with my life. It’s about what I long for, what my heart and mind are telling me is important. It’s about the fact that I never imagined that I would be unmarried at the age of 20. Yes, what a shocker. I thought I would get married right out of high school. I am afraid though. Afraid that because I want to be with someone so badly that I’ll never get it. Then I’ll grow old alone always wishing I had met somebody but realizing that it was never meant for me. I don’t want to wait till I’m older to meet someone. I crave the love now. I beg everyday to God that I meet someone. I don’t like to consider myself desperate because I don’t want to settle or pick someone who is not good for me. I want to meet the person who I meant to be with. I want to meet the person who God wants me to be with for the rest of my life. It’s not that I don’t believe in a plan for my life but I would like to see it come true now. It’s hard to be patient when all you want is to meet someone and build a life together.
I just want people to understand that their advice hurts and I can’t help feeling the way I feel.
