I have a dream. It is unrealistic. My dream is that I will meet the perfect guy. He is full of contradictions. Strong but gentle. Funny but mature. Responsible but spontaneous. He is everything I need him to be. He calms the storm that rages in my head. He is level headed to cope with my neurosis. He has the same goals that I have. He wants to have a wife to come home to and have a home cooked meal. A woman to serve his needs. He is appreciative but knows that he provides for his family. He is perfect for me. He helps me. He does not let the thoughts in my head distract me from what is truly important. He keeps me sane. But he doesn’t exist.
I drive myself crazy with the thought of him. I dream of him during the night and think of him during the day. The thought of not having him makes me cry. I push everyone else away because I am waiting. Waiting for that fairy tale. Waiting for a dream come true.
I am not a princess. This is not a movie. I will lie in bed every night alone. I will regret the relationships I have destroyed. I will wish again for him. He controls my actions. He does not allow me to see any other path but one that leads to him. I can not see a future without him. All others fall short, though he is not real.
I will one day wake up and I will realize, he is not real. He will be a shattered hope. A dream never come true. I will drag the pieces of this broken dream with me until the end of time. I will die with a sad memory of what could have been.