I know.

I know something that no one else knows. She spoke to me so nonchalantly that I barely had time to process it.

The day before: She refused to get up or even move. Hours in the same position. Her eyes would open but I would speak and she would close them again. I shook her lightly trying to get her up. She needs to eat, she needs to take her medicine, she needs to get up but she won’t. She won’t respond. She won’t react. She lays there. I worry. I have to leave. I try again and again to get her up to no avail. I tell her daughter what is happening. She says she will try when she gets home. She didn’t eat anything. She did not get out of bed.

The day she told me: She told me that when she woke up that she was surprised to still be alive. She felt like it was her time to die. She felt her soul being called away. She didn’t think she would ever wake up again. But she did. She woke up and she had a good day but today is another day and we may not be so lucky.

This is the life of a caregiver for a woman with dementia. A disease that destroys a person’s mind and soul and breaks them down.

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